A brief disclaimer about me.

Current mood: mellow

I have heard it expressed that I am sort of a difficult to understand blogger. The question was posed to me recently: Is the way you talk or the way you write more how you actually think? Answer: I feel that the way I write more closely emulates the way I think. There are many emotions and thoughts I have which are very difficult or impossible to express through words, and certainly there are things I express better in my verbal/physical communication, but I think that the careful composition of any given written expression better illustrates my fuller, more direct thinking patterns. I know there is much related to this matter which I am not taking into account but this is sufficient for my current purposes of explanation and exposition. I think it is a good question. I am sure my blogging can be very misleading as to how I seem in regular life. I never want to be misleading.

If you have been a victim of my often confusing methods I do apologize. I try to do what is right... and only succeed once in a while.

What is a halloween?

Current mood: dorky

p.s. The DeBussy I am listening to is by Paul Crossley not Catherine Collard. The Paul Crossley version was not available to choose for some reason. Also, in this particular case, the "p" in "p.s." means pre instead of post. I apologize if this offends you... hey, at least I made the font smaller.

Again... what is a halloween?

I think it is something personal.

It is a specific segment of time which forces socially dependent people to make a choice... will I, or will I not?

It is something akin to a natural disaster... some people step up to the plate, some people send condolences, some people just do not care. I think it is somewhere in these concepts to which I am greatly attracted. I enjoy the defining moments in whatever form they appear. Those times when a real aspect of a person's character are displayed, whether in a visual way or something a little less obvious, my interest often burgeons to near capacity. I am, as is probably quite apparent, a highly visual person down to the very center... this, however, does not always preclude my ability to be sensitive in a variety of other fashions. What else can be seen in the opportunity (<this word is always a pain to spell, I need to make a mnemonic device for myself, suggestions would be nice) to make such an important decision? Do you also see the subtlety of the decisions involved in costume undertaking?

I was null of activity in this regard last year at this time. I have less of a purpose than I would typically feel this year, but enough of a purpose to have fun with it all. I will be watching to see who else, and how else, those around me act or react. I am sure this would be assumed but I think that by stating it I may have an effect on what actually does happen and I am curious to see what that will be, if anything. I like to be a social scientist. Is there a real-world term for that?

Sometimes I float with the environment of my recent history. Sometimes I fill purposes long before designed by my eternally scheming machinations... although not typically of an evil nature. Sometimes the whimsical and unpredictable are the first priorities in my execution. Sometimes, a bit frequently for my taste, I leave myself in a state of confusion far from the peace of consistency and order. But such is life!

I breathe in. I breathe out. Sometimes I hold it in... and do not notice until several seconds have passed. I love breathing. I am so grateful I get to do it thousands of times a day.