The blank canvas of the future.

Blank might seem like a bit of an exaggeration but that is how it can feel when I consider what is to come in my life. I know where I'd like to go and much of how I can get there but only in certain aspects do I get a semi-clear feeling of what to expect. It could be simply a byproduct of my recently self-imposed work-related exile as I have been working on finishing my duties for the feature film I have been attached to since the beginning of the year... basically, my future-thinker is a bit weak in its processing power due to overworking myself for so long. Anyway, I am sure lots of good things are hanging out somewhere just waiting for me to snatch them up... so I'll just have to leave it at that for now... somewhere in the vague surety of my blindness. Ha.

Tunnels and lights and whatnot.

The challenges of life can come at you from every angle sometimes. I am not complaining about it as much as recognizing the diversity and complexity of life's challenges that I have generally overlooked. And I think, as change is an ever-present force in life, that even when it can feel forced(as it often does) that life's challenges change us for the better. My challenges lately have started to force a perspective change on me. A recognition of the impermanence of even the most valued and seemingly stable things in life. The importance of planning forward regardless of the unknown and imperceptible and unimaginable... moving forward into the blank canvas of my future. Maybe all of this has a bit of an embittered, bleak or negative vibe to it but that's not the point. My hope is still strong as is my optimism and expectation for great things to come. Life is good. It just becomes a story all on its own and I am fine with each new chapter... even the unexpected ones.

I'm not going away I swear.

And Mom has even stabilized a bit but I haven't quite found the way back into my emotionally even space yet, I suppose. Maybe I have avoided the emotional release of writing a bit? That isn't normally like me but I have to think of it as a possibility. Long, long days of work have certainly been a big factor, as mentioned before, so it might just be that. Anyway... things are seemingly better right now so I'm writing a little bit. I have gotten to get out of the editing cave to do a little shooting so that's pretty cool... and maybe more than that... necessary. Now I will actually get to sleep(exhausted sleep) way earlier than usual. I am definitely looking forward to it.

I haven't disappeared... just climbed into a cave for a while.

And even though I'm climbing back into the cave(long days of editing) I wanted to just say hi and mention that I have not given up on this blog and don't expect I ever will despite the occasional periods of silence due to work. There has been a lot happening in life that definitely deserves some reflection so I expect I will start addressing that relatively soonish. I will be working long days in the cave for likely another week or so but I still might have some energy to crank an update out here and there.