Holiday Greetings 2011

Hey there family, folks, and far away friends!

It is customary to start my holiday letter saying something like “It’s that time of the year again”, or some other generally overused phrase, so I decided to point out the fact that I didn’t really want to do that... the problem is that I sort of indirectly just did it anyway... so here’s my update on life.  Perhaps I’ll break it down into categories(appearing in no particular order): School, Work, Fun, General.  Ya... that seems good for now.

School has been quite the splendiforous experience!  I am now halfway through my 7th term which makes me about 7/16ths of the way done with my whole program... wow, it goes by in a blink!  Which is way too fast for me but at the same time not fast enough.  Ha.  I have been thoroughly enjoying almost every single class, which probably sounds like there’s something wrong with me, but I guess it could just mean that I am in the right program too.

Work has been generally excellent with a few bumps and snags along the way.  I quite enjoy the opportunity to teach, and find my work to be a most rewarding endeavor.  Border’s Books went out of business midway through the year so that was pretty sad.  I was only seasonal for the most part but I still enjoyed the work and really enjoyed the crew I worked with.  I also got my business license and starting doing some work on my own again.  I did some video editing work during the summer and am planning to start doing website work as my skills improve to meet my standards and the standards of the business world in general.  It should be a nice way to fill the financial gaps as well as good experience to couple with my schooling.

Fun has been a valued commodity this year since I have been so tied up in my work and schooling.  I got to do some awesome hikes during the summer, play some basketball here and there, catch a few good television series with some friends, have a couple cheese parties(next year will we will do a grilled cheese party), catch up with several old friends, make a fun trip down to Huntington Beach, do a few musical performances at church, have “art night” at my place several times, and I am sure several more cool things that I can’t quite think of at the moment.  This may sound like an excessive amount of fun but, when you consider the time span of time it took to actually do all this stuff, the fun density level is not really all that high... outside of work and school, I mean(which happens to have a lot of fun built in already.)  

I have to give my sincerest thanks to everyone who has helped me make it through the year in any possible way!  I know I have not shown enough gratitude to many of you for your exceptional kindness and general life enhancing awesomeness, but I am very grateful for everything everyone has done for me.  This may sound like some sort of acceptance speech for an award... but being alive is award enough to warrant this, I’d say.

So, here’s to another year of possibilities come and gone with the next one on the horizon!  I hope everything is a big ol’ ball of good times for y’all!

Love and laughter,

Aaron Castillo

p.s. I will be posting my old blog entries here in order to transition to a more legitimate blogging experience. I might start blogging again on a semi-regular basis, and this is where that will happen if anybody happens to be interested.  I always enjoy the grand feedback of good friends!

Merry Christmas Bloggingness!

Current mood: cheerful

Christmas greetings,

Another year, another letter, with another opening sentence saying 'Hello', inviting you to enjoy a moment with me on the receiving side of this personal reflection. This one might sort of take the form of a 'blog' as I have neglected to maintain that aspect of my creative endeavors this year. Next year will be different, however, as I climb out of my 'golden' 31st year of life into the generally unmentioned 32nd year, and it will be different for the obvious reasons that life is always changing, but also for the less commonly expressed reasons that I will continue to purposely seek change as I attempt to become someone better than I am right now.

That reminds me of a thought I have been having lately. My ideas have divided the concepts of being an 'achiever' versus the concept of being a 'becomer'( I know that's not a word but I think you understand it anyway.)

My basic descriptions of the two are as follows:

An 'Achiever' seeks tangible or ostensible marks of accomplishment. ie - Climbing to the top of a mountain, landing that big paying job, running a marathon, slam dunking a basketball, etc. This isn't always for the wrong reasons but the extrinsic value of said accomplishments seems like the primary motivation for doing them. Being able to say 'I can do that/I did that/I have that/I own that' is pretty much totally self-serving and holds no lasting positive purpose in ones life. Naturally, the 'achiever' will incur certain levels of positive intrinsic change in their personal extension and improvement needed to attain those particular achievements, which is certainly not to be overlooked. I am merely pointing to the primary intent of their motivations and feel they are often overvalued for seemingly harmless reasons.

A 'becomer' seeks for that personal change which is most visible only to oneself. A dedicated quest for self-mastery and focused purpose - something easily overlooked by casual observation and very difficult to measure, generally speaking. It is the silent battle of learning and growing through trial and error, intended and incidental alike. Naturally, the becomer will experience a certain level of achievement incidental to one's methods for self-improvement and change, as the mechanics of achievement often foster very productive potential for such. The only true goal of a 'becomer' is to become the best intended self possible. To a Christian it is to become like Christ. To do and say what He would, to reflect His attributes in every manner, to serve others as He did, to come to know Him as He knows us.

Achievement focuses on a specific state or a particular moment in time. Becoming focuses on enduring behavioral changes and continued self-improvement. I have been thinking about these concepts lately as my goals and reasons for them have been examined and hopefully corrected. I know I am not as much the 'becomer' as I would like to be but I know that where my heart is, there I will be also. Breaking through the tendencies and imperfections of human life is ever part of the challenge... but I know that time will certainly offer me many opportunities to find that path... again and again and again.

Anyway... back to my personal update on life(enough of the heavy thinking and back to

something lighter!):

It has been a grand year indeed. My job at the camera shop unfortunately came to an end as the company I worked for closed the location I was working at. I was blessed, however, to find an awesome job teaching driver's ed slightly before that happened, as well as a way cool seasonal position at Border's Books. The teaching job will fit quite nicely into my plans to start my path through college next year since I can pretty much only teach the students when they're out of school themselves, leaving me the daytime to do my own schooling. So it's all a good fit so far and I look forward to moving forward in life down that particular path of progress.

I had a great year of friendship and family experiences. On Thanksgiving all six of the kids in my family were able to get together for the first time in years. That's always pretty cool. It has been really nice reconnecting with many old friends from my distant past through facebook and otherwise(several random encounters in person, even.) I have gotten to do a wide variety of awesome activities from hiking, to short film making, to snowboarding, to table tennis, to roadtripping, and all kinds of things in between. I have to thank all of you whom I was so delighted to share these experiences with! You truly made my year something memorable! I have also enjoyed seeing the personal successes of many friends in very dramatic ways. You inspire me greatly and I look forward to seeing your bright futures intertwining with my own!

I was invited in to be the bass player for a band called 'The Janitors of Chaos' and enjoyed practicing with them for well over half the year, although at much less frequent intervals than a band should practice, generally speaking. The recent job changes and schedule challenges may have seen a collapse in our ability to maintain the band at the moment but I hope we are able to continue on with it next year, hopefully performing some shows and the like. I have also been very slowly learning to sing and play a song or two and might go play a coffee shop or two once I have enough material. It's always a fun, challenging experience to perform live, plus it motivates me to actually finish some of the songs I have started writing(some of them are now years old for no reason other than me not finishing them!)

I've recently rediscovered some of my old hobbies such as table tennis and playing games(Settlers of Catan and Magic.) One of them keeps me more in phyical shape while the other one keeps me in mental shape. It's a nice diversionary combination... I wonder if they could literally be combined somehow? Hmmm...

Well folks, If you're still reading this I'm quite impressed. I know this isn't a very good Christmas gift but it's all I got at the moment. I love the opportunity to reflect on the things I cherish the most. Things like my friends and family. Things like my own testimony of the gospel of Christ. I know He lives and loves us all. He did all things for our salvation and joy as we are His beloved family. I know that we can truly find peace and happiness if we learn to follow Him in faith and hope. I hope you all have a splendid new year full of change and progress and I hope it slowly becomes the life you are always seeking! I love you all immensely and thank you for being in my life on purpose!

With love and gratitude,

Aaron M. Castillo

The media of myself.

Current mood: enlightened

I have finally found the impetus to return to this method of expression in the form of a lesson at church, which encouraged us to "define ourselves in the new media." Blogging is a media I have quite enjoyed utilizing already so this particular thing is not something I trepidatiously enter into, indeed quite the opposite would more correctly describe it, but I have somewhat taken an unnecessary break which I will now undo. Unfortunately, I have been unexpectedly called off at the request of a friend and will not really get to fully explore my ideas at this time. I am glad to have started this even one small step, however, as it will lead to many more ahead. Like any worthwhile endeavor the smaller steps in it's progress generally find the greatest benefit at the beginning. Well, that's what seems to be logical at the moment anyway. I could be thinking that now merely for the sake of convenience.

Until next time...

Blog - Which happens to mean "birthday log" in this particular instance.

Current mood: thankful

The 31st year of my life has been a most splendid one indeed. I mentioned most of the delightfully enjoyable events of the year in my Christmas letter posted in my last blog but this last month has been quite a month I must say. It almost feels like it has been two months packed into one I have gotten to do so much rad stuff! I have wandered into several somewhat deep, semi-contemplative modes throughout the month which are no longer very clear in my mind and should have been explored sooner for maximum freshness to be enjoyed, like a store bought salad... or an open bag of chips... or some fresh cut flowers. Pretty much everything has an expiration date I guess. This isn't a bad thing, though, it just means that life keeps changing and moving on anyway... which is just the way I like it. I guess in my limited amount of "blog time" today(I've had a gob of stuff to do today - and I wanted to sleep in since it's my birthday) I just want to give a big thank you to all of my friends and family that take the time to read this: You are my life. You are the answer to my needs. You are my opportunity to feel love. You are my many reasons to laugh. You are my inspiration to pray. You are my connection to great things. You are my most cherished memories. You are even sometimes in my dreams. You are my inspiration to become something better. You are my vicarious senses and feelings. You are the music of my life... each one sharing different notes, melodies, harmonies, tones, and lyrics. You are the reasons I do anything at all! You are all unique, important, sons and daughers of our Father in Heaven. And I know I've stated this before, but you are the my greatest blessings in this life! I honestly feel somewhat inadequate to properly express what you all mean to me. You have all shared so much with me that I don't feel I could ever repay... EVERY one of you. I'm sure it might be difficult to understand, maybe I'm a difficult person do understand, but I speak the honest truth of my perspective here. Thanks again for being you and for being a part of my life. I hope you all have a splendid 32nd year of my life with me!

Yule notice that I tend to write a lot from time to time.

Current mood: jolly

It has been a nice, lazy Christmas day indeed. I slept in a decent amount of time... I had a nice ripe dream falling out of unconsciousness into the waking smells of bacon and eggs... it was a nice transition indeed. The nice, Christmasy kind of transition that might even be worthy of a ribbon or a medal... in a strange, wake-up-out-of-a-nice-dream-togo-eat-delicious-breakfast kind of competition. I think this all sounds stupendously silly... but so what, it's Christmas! Yeah!

Anyway... I wrote a holiday letter this year, similar to my personal tradition which I started last year, and I thought I would share it here in my blog again. It includes more of my years overview than it did last time so I hope it helps to keep y'all a little more informed on my happenings and such if you happen to be interested. It has been an excellent year indeed so I hope it isn't too long or anything.

Holiday greetings,

This might get to people after Christmas but I've decided that's okay since the information isn't going to change much in the couple of days difference anyway. If this offends you please stop reading now... pick up your phone, and give me a call... I'll do what I can to ease the overdue holiday disappointment you must be feeling. Or I'll send you a cookie. A cookie that my mom made. It'll be delicious. Never mind that... I'll just eat the cookie. This is my Christmas letter to y'all for 2008. I've decided to combine a brief update of my year with my current thoughts of my testimony. I hope it's not too boring or strange! (since we all know how strangely boring I can be... ha.)

The year began with a couple trips to California and a pulled hamstring from playing basketball thinking I was about ten years younger and in the best shape of my life(a very flawed thought indeed.) All a bunch of fun in retrospect since trips, and physically painful experiences, often are. I had a decent amount of graphics work to keep me relatively busy so things seemed to be rolling along nicely, other than the hamstring thing... a ding ding... chicken wing... ha.

My work with Dish Network, as well as the needs of my main graphics client at the time, unexpectedly tapered out and I was out of work for an annoyingly long time(maybe about a month) due to the confusion about what was happening to the work. I started working at Kits Cameras part time just to get something at all, luckily already knowing that I would like the work anyway, and have happily enjoyed my tenure there since March as a salesguy/picture printer. It really feels good to feel like I can help people with something I know pretty well and actually get paid to do it. It has been a great blessing in my life for sure! Plus, I get discounts.

In late February or so, under the suggestion of my brother I picked up an inexpensive digitizer pen tablet for my computer. It's like a pen that makes it so I can more naturally draw on the computer... and I love it! I have become inspired to work on my illustration again. It is not only therapeutic but I think it actually looks pretty decent. I never knew I could do what I have been doing with it. I might even get to be pretty good at it if I am able to stick with it.

The summer started off with a Regional Young Single Adult Conference which was a lot of fun for the whole gang. I made a cartoon for the film festival which did pretty well so that was a fun experience and a lot of hard work well worth the effort. Throw in a few or so weddings that I got to either video tape or photograph, with lots of social interaction among friends on the weekends in a fairly typical summer kind of way, and the start of a brand new branch that meets about two minutes from my house, and I would call it a good summer indeed.

The fall started off a bit rough and I was not able to get started at Tech School as planned but I'll hopefully get that going in the spring, so I guess patience was the key ingredient to consume around that time. I was called to be the first counselor in the Elder's Quorum presidency of the new branch and have found it to be a great complement to an already great church going experience there. We have AWESOME leadership and loads(miniloads?) of cool people in our little unit of 50 or so, give or take. My scripture study, prayer, and focus on the temple have continued to bless my life in immeasurable and totally appreciated ways throughout this year and has been only better enhanced as I have enjoyed the opportunities of service in this new branch. It has so much awesome potential!

I enjoyed getting into costume for Halloween as the Skele-Tin Man and had a lot of scratching heads around me as people tried to figure out who was actually behind the silver facepaint. Thanksgiving was good to spend with the family and it was actually a nice transition into the retail madness that takes over the holiday spirit shortly thereafter. It's a good thing I really enjoy my work. I haven't had a reason to complain about it yet. Just days ago, on December 10th, I was blessed to have the opportunity to receive my endowments and make the related covenants in the temple. It has been something I have sought after in my life for quite some time and found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable and enlightening experience. There is so much to be learned there! I look forward to a life of service there as I seek to follow my Savior's plan for me.

I know Jesus, the Christ lives. I know He loves me, and every other person who has ever lived. I know that He somehow performed the only possible act which enables mankind to return to live with Him and our Father in heaven, the atonement, which all may if they will, partake of in completeness and humility. I know that the words of the prophets found in scripture are the Lord's words to man outlining His plan for us, illuminating our spirits with the necessary truth to be able to return to Him as well as be happier people. I know that He teaches us through His prophets today, as well as in days past, and that through them He guides and directs the progress of His church on earth, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I know that the gospel was restored by the Lord's guidance through the prophet Joseph Smith in these, the latter-days, and that it all was put into motion through an answer to his prayer as a young boy as he inquired about which of all the churches he was to join. I know that prayer is and essential and powerful element in one's life if it is consistently, humbly utilized in all things and that we will always receive answers to them. We can learn to better understand God's will for us, and those in our stewardship, if we will diligently act in faith on this principle. I know that faith is a real, and vital part of coming to know ALL truths of the gospel. I know that the trials we face are individually tailored to us for our benefit and improvement. I know that we can be blessed with actual hope if we pray for it even when we don't feel like we deserve it. I know that obedience to the commandments we have been given, as well as to the covenants we have made, always leads us to the greatest blessings available to us, and our power to further choose the positive consequences associated to any given commandment is increased. I know that Satan is real and truly, negatively effects our lives if we allow him to. He seeks our eternal destruction and tirelessly works to that end... he never gives up, which is why we too must never give up and endure to the end. I know that through the power of the atonement I will become a better servant, brother, son, friend, and future husband as I actively seek to apply it to all aspects of my life... that He will make me into something better than I could ever become through any other way... that I can one day return to live with Him. And I sincerely hope to see all of YOU there with me! YOU are the reason this earth was created by Him, therefore YOU are the reason I am here doing what I do. YOU need to know that! YOU are the greatest of all God's creations!

I thank you all for sharing your lives with me in whatever degree you have! You have helped me to become what I now am as the Lord has worked through you in so many ways. I know you all at many varying levels, from those I have recently met through to the family members who have known me longer than I have known myself, and you are all important to me. That is just the way God has designed this mortal existence to be and I thank you for joining me for the ride, from time to time. I love you all a great deal - truly one of the greatest blessings given me of the Lord - and hope for your greatest happiness and success in life. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all that you do and are!

This is merely a moment in time for us all. The Christmas holiday season of 2008. It will be gone in a blink if we don't take the time to think about what it really means to each of us individually. The focal point of it all, the reason we do what we do at this time of year, is a very personal, individual thing. May we all come to know Him better. May we have the courage and faith to commit, or recommit, ourselves to putting Him at the center of our lives. These things I leave with you, in the name of Him, my Savior Jesus Christ, amen.

I hope this Christmas has been an excellent one and that the new year to come treats you all kinds of good aplenty! Life is too good for just me to be having all the fun!

Dream Log: 12-3-08

I should have typed this out as soon as I woke up but I have other priorities which I am trying to adhere to with better consistency so this took the back seat this morning. Some of it kind of came back to me a moment ago so I thought I'd write it out since I think it's kind of amusing.

The whole dream took place outdoors, mostly in a generic forest sort of setting then at a lake surrounded by hills. The basic premise of the dream was that I was trying to escape from THE grim reaper... who was grim... and had a very strange way of reaping. He sort of had a personality. He would talk to me as well as somebody he was sort of working with(I have no recollection of any details about that person) as he was coming to get me in his strange getting fashion. I say strange because it was unclear how, or even what, he was actually going to do to me. Was he going to kill me? Was he going to just grab me and take me somewhere... wherever he delivers the dead or something? Was I actually going to die at all? It never seemed clear to me.

So I forgot to mention that I am the Hulk in this dream - that's a new one for me. I don't remember specifically being green or angry but I just know that I am the Hulk. I'm really big and tough. As I am running away from Death guy I come to the edge of the lake. There is someone there important to me. Like I either need to do my heroic responsibility and save him/her(unknown... I kind of think it was a fat guy I've never met before) or at least bring the person along as if they were particularly useful to me for some other reason.

So I tuck the person under one of my huge arms(I think I must be like 10ft tall or so) and jump over the water to get away from Death guy's new special attack he decided to use against me. It's this tiny little projectile that he seems to control through the air with his mind. I am afraid of it because I think it will kill me if it touches me - I guess that's what I thought that the attack was supposed to do.

It follows me as I am jumping away(Hulk jumps are really far... although mine aren't quite like the ones in the first Hulk movie with Erik Bana and Jennifer Connelly) the little projectile hits me in the right side sort of behind my ribs like a weird little kidney punch. It just pushes into me but doesn't seem to really be doing anything other than the discomfort of something pushing into you there... which is not bad, but definitely uncomfortable anyway. I also notice what the little object is as I am trying to grab and pull it off - It's a tiny, little, squishy human heart! Weird! Compared to my huge Hulk size it feels about as big as a small pear. I grab it with my hand and try to crush it but it's too squishy and really hard to move around since it still seems to be in Death guys mental control. So I just hold it for a little while and continue trying to jump away to safety.

That's all I really remember of the dream. Oh, there is somewhere in the dream a half-submerged Volkswagen Microbus... It was sort of a light blue/sky blue color with a white roof. I think I used it as a jumping off point in the middle of the lake but I don't really remember.

Anyway... I thought this dream was entertaining to reflect on. I hope it doesn't make me seem insane now. Ha.

The Perception of Responsibility - The Responsibility of Perception

I have made mention of this topic before but addressed it in a different way last time. I was more specific to address the aspect of perceived age last time but I think the aspect of responsibility is more directly relevant to both the situation I addressed then as well as the one I will mention today. In neither instance is there any particularly profound occurrence from which I have been inspired to write out these rambling thoughts, but I find the instances amusing anyway.

I was walking home from my morning errands today and remembered that a Ted Brown Music just opened up near my house so I thought "Cool... I should go check that place out on my way home... it's hardly out of the way." ... and thus it was. I have been wanting to learn how to play the cello for a while now and thought it might be good to check out rental prices and such. Man, cellos are cool! It will be great fun! So that was my mindset as I wandered into the store.

I was immediately greeted by a middle-aged gal who worked there with the typical "Thanks for stopping in, if you would like help with anything just let us know"-type of greeting. I glanced at a couple cello-like instruments as she was going through this canned, albeit personal, introduction and decided to chat with her before browsing around the store.

I started by asking her what the cost of renting a cello typically runs. She asked me what size cello and I responded that I didn't know that there were different sizes, that I was new to this kind of thing. She then asked about my child and school, or something along those lines, as if I could have a child which might be starting lessons or music class or something. And I realized that I must look, or act, like the parent of a child old enough to be starting music lessons. How weird is that? Probably not that weird really, but I am not used to being categorized as somebody in that way... not that I think it is a bad category to be in. I would rather like to think of myself as being in that category but I guess I feel that I have so many steps to take before getting there that I was somewhat taken aback by her apparent misperception.

Ultimately I realize I am always making changes in life as I strive to become something better than I was yesterday, yesterhour, yesterminute, and that my own self-perceptions don't always change to adapt accordingly. It's not an entirely bad thing but it can tend to leave me living in a past that no longer exists except in my head. So I think I need to start seeing myself in a more responsible, mature light since it is something I have been diligently working to change in my life for quite a while. All those motivational speaker types would be telling me to be projecting ahead(positive self-speak) anyway so I guess it is good advice for a reason.

So... if you happen to see any of my kids running around needing an instrument to start learning, just let me know. I know just where to go to get things started... even if I am not doing so well at getting the things started which lead to their existence. Ha.