Wondering where my dependence has gone?

I have been so independent of a relationship for so long that it is somewhat frightening to me when I think about how I have somehow gotten along without it all these years. I know that I need my friends for their human, positive influences... but what about the more meaningful relationships?

I know, through logical realization as well as my limited personal experience, that the more intimate relationships have the greatest potential for positive life change... yet I seem to lack the compelling drive to find one, beyond my own dispositions to find that which I assume fits me the best. Why am I so picky? It is like I somehow feel like I should be, and can be, even though experience has shown me that doing so simply foregoes the greater good.

It seems like what I am seeking is actually a fantasy... like it doesn't actually exist. But, rather, I think I had a semi-new revelation about this today - that it actually does exist, but that I simply seem to either ignore it or just don't know how to see it despite its possible presence in my life from time to time. It is something I need to be more faithful about.

I need to be much more proactive, in any case!

The delightfully long conversations.

I really enjoy catching up with old friends. Especially ones that are great conversationalists, and even more especially, in person. It's a great way to recenter yourself, too. It really helps to set your mind straight a little... the people that know you so well.

Slowly wrapping up the final general education classes.

It feels good to be down to the last couple weeks. I still have a decent amount of work to do but it looks to be quite reasonable and even somewhat fun if I am smart about it. Some political stuff and some financial stuff and mostly presentation-style in form. I like writing papers on occasion... but I always enjoy giving presentations. Fun times!

Service to the unknown.

There is a different sort of thing which happens in the service of someone unknown, or even unseen, that is a blessing to the heart of the renderer of said service. It is an act of faith which claims a blessing in a way different than that of the service rendered to those we know better. It is a powerful, important sort of thing which literally blesses every person connected to it. And I am grateful for the knowledge of this and the many opportunities I have to experience it... as I am always changed in a positive way through its divinely bestowed influence.

Photo editing is fun.

At least it is fun when the proper tools are available. It is always fun to look into the moments expressing a friend's inner enjoyment and external beauty. A nice peaceful moment, an exciting joyful moment, and a candid pensive moment... which might be somewhat cliche for photography standards... but I still enjoy finding them and seeing how artfully and nicely I can craft them. The hobby of making people look great is quite a fun one indeed!

Glow-face Voldemort.

But it could have been so much more. In any case I can't really complain about the result. It seemed to be generally entertaining at the least. Plus, I think I'm starting to enjoy the process of applying all that transformational makeup anyway... a weird sort of artistic endeavor I think. Well... weird for me, anyway. Fun weird!

Forgetting the best thoughts of the day.

Which is totally normal but still kind of annoying. It would be nice to be able to record the cooler ones as I have them so I can pull them up for review when I finally do get to writing things down... but I suppose it's a whole different kind of thing by that point anyway. No loss, really... I guess it's just the way things evolve. Or maybe I'm just saying that to feel good about forgetting the good stuff. Ha.