Super insomnia!

Actually... it's probably not even to an actual insomniac level yet... but it kinda feels crazy to me anyway. I know I need to be up for work and I just can't seem to get myself into bed... my very comfortable, cozy bed which I actually enjoy quite a lot. It's a very strange thing to try to wrap my mind around... unsuccessfully. Such is the way of things. Life if full of actual mysteries. Mundane as they might be, even.

Doing business.

Today was the first time I really handed off a project to an editor that I hired for a project. It is something I probably should have tried to do many times in the past but always had difficulty trusting it would get done the right way. Now, even though the project isn't terribly complex, I worked through those doubts and learned to trust the editor and that he will create a quality edit for the client. It is, in many ways, a great relief and, at the same time, I still carry a little doubt about the project as a whole. This is the normal part of being in business for yourself, though, and I am certainly no stranger to carrying worry through until the customer/client has finally received and approved the project. A mini "refiner's fire", you might say. And one of the many reasons I love being in business for myself!(most of the time. ha)

The continuous efforts.

What value can be found in the repetitive moments of daily reflection? They are so often very trivial and they have little to no visible impact on my life or the life of anyone I can think of... yet I keep doing it. There is a personal level of satisfaction for doing something with consistency. Doing anything with intentional consistency is a chore but also reflects an important character trait that is difficult to discern as clearly in many other ways... self-control. I do find it interesting that I often feel a lack of self-control in many areas of my life despite maintaining the self-control necessary to sustain my writing habits. I wonder why general self-control can splinter in quality throughout the person's whole? Perhaps self-mastery is always meant to be a journey through all the various aspects of one's lack thereof. Learn to master one thing and the next door can be opened in turn. A door that is closer than it is far.

Now and when.

Sometimes it's easier to dwell on what is happening currently than it is to recognize what might be coming down the road. Sure, today was kind of a non-entity on my timeline of personal usefulness... but the coming week looks to be something I will enjoy as well as a week that could produce some decently productive results in a couple important areas. Progress is always more attractive the regress.

Fantasy Superbowl.

I made it into the two-week long Superbowl of our work fantasy football league which technically started on Thursday this week. What this means is that I have been over-obsessing about my lineup selections many of my waking moments since Wednesday. Some of it is my desire to do well and win but some of it is because it fills the boredom moments when a certain level of my OCD needs something to focus on. I am sure I could be actually productive doing something more creative, and when the season is over I might give that a shot, but there is definitely a lot of worse things I could be doing to spend the time.

Napping and eating.

I've probably ridden this wagon a little too long over the last couple or so days but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It is probably boring but sometimes that's just how life shakes out. I did watch an interesting round-table conversation with some screenwriters that kind of opened my eyes a little about some things I have thought about somewhat recently with my own writing. Mostly it just increased my motivation to tackle script writing with more actuality... meaning actually doing it instead of just thinking about it all the time. Only time can reveal the fruit of that motivation, I suppose.

Holiday stuffing.

Which is just the short way of saying it's time to eat too much food and be lazy. Sure, the holidays have a great deal of meaning that can be attached to them but I mostly think of it as family time these days. Now I'm gonna get a little less sleep than preferred to wake up for breakfast but I'll make sure to get a solid nap in sometime during the middle afternoon or so. Naps are the treasured currency of the sleep deprived.