Fun Behind the Scenes.

 It's a pretty different type of art and creativity. The main motive is to gain marketing appeal but I don't think that diminishes the opportunity to explore creatively. There are also, in many ways, opportunities to emulate the main subject of their efforts.

Back Pain is Real.

 And it's an incredible reminder of the fragility of life. Ha. Not too different from the reminders of death.

So I am still in a somewhat considerable level of pain more than 12 hours later and I don't think there's much else worth talking about here. This kind of experience really puts into perspective the needs I have to find a good relationship. I am an island... but I shouldn't be. Who really wants that?

Entitlement is Utterly Disgusting.

 To the degree that I'm not quite sure what it actually means. I'm trying to think of anything that I might feel entitled to... do I feel entitled to anything at all?

I like to think I am owed respect in some situations. I like to think I am owed a measure of love from family members and those that I serve with my own love... but am I actually entitled to any of it? Pretty much the only situation where I think entitlement should exist would be the love a child is entitled to from his or her parents. Maybe I am being hyperbolic to think that but what proof exists that would show evidence to anything else?

Anyway... I think this topic was inspired by the perception I have of many modern women's view of what they expect in the realm of dating and relationships. I only have a small slice of exposure to any expressed views, mostly in podcast media to be fair, but my peripheral experience from online dating seems consistent with that as well. Very little of it is encouraging to almost any degree. I am not entitled to encouragement, though, so I'll just write derogatory blog posts about it instead. Ha.

Learning to Accept Giving Up Lesser Things for Greater Things in the Future.

 It's hard to be more succinct in describing that concept, thus the clunky title.

I have a large suite of luxury beliefs, along with some unnecessary fantasies, that I long believed would still be something I should chase in life... or maybe that I even could still chase. But, why? What in life has led me to harbor these kinds of beliefs? I guess it's hard to answer that question without any clarity about those beliefs and fantasies... but I do believe it is something I need to work to undo. And it won't be easy. Life is never easy.

Classic Cartoons and Dinosaurs.

 On our way to the game night in Olympia we stopped for dinner at a place called Big Tom. I have no idea what inspired the decor but random classic cartoons mixed with dinosaurs is definitely one way to do it. In many ways I am impressed at the boldness of their assertion... the audacity which they embody with immaculate integrity... Oh... and there's a GIANT hamburger right in front of the ordering window that basically squelches more than half of the available space for a line. Neat!

So, what does one learn from all of this bizarrely amalgamated creativity? Maybe it's something like this: Do whatever you want to do in life... but do it by going big and going hard. Who cares what everybody thinks?

10,000 Steps Away... One Step Back.

 That's kind of how it feels right now, anyway. I will admit it feels good to be somewhat social but I know I am likely far away from something one would consider "back."

So, how did it go for me tonight? I am not entirely sure, actually. I think I made a decent impression but I don't feel like I have much more insight about where things actually can go. It was great to see her and enjoy her calm, gracious presence regardless of anything that happens from here. Tomorrow I get to join the fun for another small adventure. I look forward to it.

Death at Any Age.

 I am quite saddened by the news of two different friends today that each had a significant family member pass away recently. One lost a father and the other lost a son. Powerful feelings of somber melancholy came upon me in both instances. The first one because it is a pain I have experienced and the second one because it is a pain I can't even imagine. Death is never a trivial event.

So... what do I do because of all of this? I don't really know. I offered my condolences to the first friend as the news came from him directly. I hope it helped in some small way. My second friend's news came secondhand, though, so I have yet to send my condolences to him. I don't even know what to say... losing somebody at 12 years of age is simply not within my comprehension or experience. I simply feel deeply for his loss.

I hope to feel better in the morning.