I think the "part 1" of any multi-part message usually contains the "thesis statement" of said message. I think I am about to really miss the point on that one because this is shooting from the hip tonight. Just a warning.
So I have been trying to figure out how to write in a more accesible manner... or write in a way that accurately reflects the message I am trying to convey, yet still be understandable to the casual observer. A big problem I face in this regard is that the way I communicate verbally and the way I communicate in writing is quite different. When comparing the two I appear, to some, like two separate people almost entirely. I do understand the disparity is quite confusing, and in all reality would prefer there be as little difference as possible, but am seemingly unable to close the gap between the way I write and the way I talk. Fun times.
Anyway this whole thing is sort of a self-analytical personal exploration of the way I communicate in general. I think I will probably come back to this specific topic with a generally regular frequency since I am sort of "obsessed" with improving my communication skills and find myself thinking about ways to improve it often. This particular post is sort of intended to just get the ball rolling on my part. I plan to try
something different next time, which should prove to be very interesting in practice, by actually recording a narrative in a sort of impromptu fashion as I try to convey whatever message I am intending to post here. I may even post up an .mp3 link for it or something.
On to other things...
Today is the first anniversary of a good friends passing and I thought I would post a small memorial comment or two... or three.
My friend meant more to me than she ever realized and always made me feel like I meant more to her than I could ever understand. This is not one of those gimmicky, poem-type statements but a statement of truth. When the news of my friend's passing entered my consciousness I almost immediately felt emotionally broken for reasons I did not, at the time, understand. As things started to settle, in my mind and heart, I realized that part of my sorrow was expressed in the selfish need for the pure love so richly offered by my friend, which I often took for granted. She was truly a one-way street of real, sincere affection, always offering and never taking. It was a sometimes a frustrating battle in our relationship, as I often tried to drive the wrong way down that street, but never a battle fought there without both sides victorious. Even I think that last statement sounds cheesy but I know she would not have it any other way. She always enjoyed the pure, natural honesty of people regardless of its form.
So much has happened this short year in passing. My life has taken many unusual turns which I would never have expected, sitting back in that bygone perspective. I have thought about her many times between then and now, usually with fondness deserved and cherished. I am not one prone to live in the past, but I am one who never wants to forget it. So I think I have grown quite a bit in many positive ways... and I think she would be happy for me on a few of those marks. And when will all of this sentimentality change? I do not care really. Perhaps I will feel compelled next year to run through this again. Maybe at that time I will feel something totally different.
So here's to her! Cheers! My good friend. One of the best friends I have had the pleasure to know, to share with, to serve with, to love. I am sure she would laugh at my strange attempt to build her this digital monument. This is just not her style. But I am compelled nonetheless and I am certainly glad for doing it.
Evelyn Josephine Cotton
July 24, 1972 - December 11, 2004
Piece be unto you, my friend.
Holiday mirth and joy all the rest!
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