The truly turbulent times.

It has been a bit of a day. The recent months have had a bit of their own take, even. And though I have thought I should take some time to put my thoughts into more permanent form I have not felt clearly enough to motivate such an action. I am now inclined to do so... and even though I am not entirely sure where this post will roam I feel it appropriate to first pay my respects to the event, the man, that has inspired this emotional tipping point.

David Lopez

I did not know him very well or for very long. I met him a little over a year ago when I first took arm wrestling on as a serious hobby. He was a very smart, kind teacher in the few brief interactions I had with him. First at practice, then at Ben's wedding. Not long after friending him on FaceBook I learned of his struggle with cancer. Not long after that he posted that he would no longer receive the chemo treatments that he had already fought and struggled with, knowing that it would likely lead to his passing. Today... today was the day that news became reality. He has a young wife and family left in his absence. It feels like a tremendous challenge and powerful moment of importance. A loss that will affect the community of all who knew him well. Again, I did not know him very well but I know he was a fine man, husband, father, and friend. It is an unwelcome reminder of our mortality but a sadness that is real. Be at peace, good man.

Working backwards toward other things which have weighed on my mind in the recent days and months.

The world is at odds with itself. The "realish" world found in the social networks has decided to escape into frenzy and foolishness. Toxic and rigid are two words that come to mind. There is almost no place for moderation and geniality. I say "almost" because there are a few level-headed folks willing to sing praises for the positive in spite of the cacophony estranged from the uplifting and tasteful realm... along with the great many who are simply non-participant witnesses, simply along for the ride, unwilling to gain unexpectedly negative attention, or bemused by the acrimonious and chaotic war of words, ideas, virtues, politics, and social contrivances. The sad part is hearing about the power of this "realish" world as it seems it is spilling into the physical world with incredible strength and connection. The world is at odds with itself.

This all started with the viral video of a police officer killing George Floyd... inflamed race tensions spurred protesting and a call for justice... there is an "Autonomous Zone" in downtown Seattle... there have been peaceful protests throughout the country... there have been actual riots and looting in many of those places... there is a call to "defund the police"... many local folks want to impeach the governor of Washington State... POTUS has threatened military action... more news of wrongful police actions... and this brief list is far from comprehensive. This is the real world. This is what's happening now.

I have watched the disproportionately connected "realish" world act as a catalyst for most, if not all of this. The truly focused, self-amplifying echo chambers of the social media realm are bullishly coercive to all that wish to heartily engage. A virtual heaven for the trollish tendencies it imbues into even the most honest and pure of heart... intentions quickly culled into emotional fervor and sympathetic recitations. I do see so much goodness and well-intended efforts but the execution and forum belies the value gained. Beyond that, it seems that the delicacy and tact required to navigate the more nuanced and challenging issues is almost completely crushed into powder and poured into the cement molds of either of the major faction's hard-line thinking. It seems one is only capable of existing on one side or the other, lacking the capacity to reasonably traverse anywhere in the gray areas of any given sentiment. There is only a rally cry for justice or descent... a bellow far louder than any opportunity to enjoy a patient, collected discourse at room volume. So much decisive, divisive screaming it nearly motivated me to speak my piece about the lack of peace.

But I am not that man. I am not on a side... at least, nobody is on my side. Not according to what the "realish" world has declared, anyway.

And, just for fun, let's add a global pandemic! It has all sorts of political and financial facets to be addressed beyond the physical and emotional realms it has injured. It feels a bit unclear how it will be truly understood in retrospect... which might be to say, the whole story of this thing is a bit murky. The world was quite underprepared for just such an event. We are lucky it hasn't been a very destructive virus.

And so... instead of casting my voice into the heart of that "realish" world, I have decided to transcribe some thoughts for the future, near or far, in the generally obscure place of this journal. There is importance in the sentiments of this time no matter what becomes of it. This truly is history that must be remembered and even though I was somewhat reticent to follow through with this writing, and I am saddened by the passing of David Lopez, I am grateful for the emotional push he was able to offer me because of it.