Current mood: weird
Weird Beird brings it to you live if you send it to him dead... and in neither case do the sentiments fold across the lines of sense or reason. It's just funner that way.
Free piece of happiness right here!
Eggs for laughing loudly.
Wise men can see it too.
All of it is inside the turban.
Wiggle it away with great caution.
Normal people live constantly.
Mires of gluttony are all around us.
Lamplight is only as good as the street you are on.
Whispers of a tortoise catching up.
Eleven dwarves may not be better than seven.
Who is the dog's therapist?
My brother sees your sandwich.
Apples and bananas, my friend.
Inquiries of a standard type fit the bill.
Lances and arms can both do damage.
Wild is often the least expected of the grapes.
Third place has nothing to do with it.
Can you feel the Tuesday before last?
Winding is not the right power to use.
Beg for the cookie loudly.
Running for a candle-lit presidency.
Throw it vaguely... it will never miss.
Every dead square only has only one coroner.
Counting to 30 only happens 11 times a year.
Eat the taco. Right before you want to.
In demand is the windy candy.
Lift it right to knee level for best results.
Shake those shells to be sure they go to heck.
A pot of coffee never wanders far.
Lingering in the lingerie is risky… or risqué?
A lemon a day just doesn't taste as nice.
Batting in the third place for freedom.
Level-headed thinking is over-priced.
Hyphenate often. You know you want to.
Listen to the end of the Nile.
Precariously overconfident he meanders.
Track them to their doom.
Grab it by the elbow and run!
Soil sits silently solving soliloquy.
To the hospitals best friends sister. She knows.
Ripened for three years strong.
Cowardly times filled with horseplay.
Writing on the wall in the west.
Laughter to the left of her.
Trance to chance is a change.
Wimps for hire. They owe us money!
Bob is a Robert in disguise.
Meetings don't taste good to vegetarians.
I heard that! That can be loud sometimes.
Funny thing… the wranglebobs whimpersnickle.
Ludicrous is Lenny's launchpad.
Winners never prosper in second place.
Cash it in… I bet it's worth a second look.
Who has a bay of electricity, anyway?
Long live the Dairy Queen!
Better men have tried the ties I wear with pride.
Seasonal sincerity suites the solemn sugarcube.
A zillion zebras! No way!
Those inside have many dimensions all around.
Poor is the new non-affluent.
The rigors of stapledom can be taxing.
Rock, paper, scissors… Superman still wins!
Lift the leg of justice lightly.
I'll see the aisles of isles.
Rip it left and lift it… 5 times fast.
Letter of the lawman Larry.
Candles for hire.
Torrid talent of twenty tiger tails.
Jump for the jingle in waiting.
Winter is only in your mind.
The center of a carrot? Anyone?
I hear you... often making sound.
Battle for the brawny. It's definitely worth it.
Ring the phone for me... dinner's ready.
Tasting that made me wince only once.
Gramma ran over a reindeer in her rubber-sole shoes.
Plastic is sometimes better than sliced bread.
Boil the burger for Brad.
Grumpy Grumperson gives great gifts gleefully.
Land a roll on my plate, will ya?
Thrice the mice with spice were nice.
The county lines are full of electricity.
My gob was stopped once. It never restarted either.
Trance in techno is totally the tastiest.
A is for the alphabet... so leave the alphabet alone.
I would love a piece... just don't light it on fire first.
Send the last one to her... she won't expect it.
Literacy in democracy is lunacy when fancy.
Random parts fly off in ringworm tarts.
The choice of the children is the charriot.
Mincing ribbons for Mother Riley's favorite cake.
Ten tons of toothpaste is too tempting!
Laugh at the lizard... he lingers in the light!
Wink if you smell ink.
But her better butter batter isn't bitter Lance.
Life in the city leaves the country clapping.
I will join for free. But only four times.
Gobble it green and gold.
Kansas is the place... Tuesday is the time.
Who really wants to "bring it" at the flag pole?
How many plates for puppies can you think of?
Ring the rung with the bell of brass below it.
Cows and moons just don't mix... they both refuse.
King Conan crushes cowards constantly!
Ordinary orders are ordinarily ours for hours.
Whip it up and spray it on that sandwhich there!
A gallon a day keeps the bathroom close.
Many have tried... few have sung while doing it.
Bigger companies with bigger budgets just blew up!
Announce an ounce and dance on Aunt's dents.
Fly far away and freeze the frail frost to play.
Chocolate in the canteen doesn't last long.
Wisdom and warriors can wait for years, I've heard.
Cut back on your length and candy time... You'll thank me.
Boys will be boys and never crickets... please.
Jump through a hoop. The hole part usually helps.
Grace is so sly sometimes. Who saw it coming?!
Fender class was a blast!
Forget the time when we shared that cheese?
Knuckle-bump for tall people! They make us feel shorter.
Ammunition is certainly friendlier than amputation.
Cannibals can. I saw it once... don't ask how.
Mickey Moose was so mad about that little rodent!
Passage to paradise is proud of it's presence.
Give the gopher a golf ball for gameday.
Tiresome Twosome tried the twinkies twice.
Bounce it off the garden gnome. He can't see you yet.
Five legs is not better than two... except for chicken.
Enter the contest of contrast... then immediately give up.
A log full of cheese suites you well.
Make it anything you want... you might need to.
Dribble a dozen down the drain with delight.
Burke's bandits bring bouncy balls before breaking Barry's back.
Limit the turkey intake and you're only limiting yourself.
Cats can do that too... I saw it before the accident.
When does the blimp arrive?
How crispy are those ones?
Terminals are only points. Some A and some B.
Plaid jello sure beats a kick to the head.
Simple solace of the service in solitude.
Free the inner pumpkin pie. It wants out now.
Fun practice in freeform thinking. Mostly uncut and unedited in order of appearance.
Enjoy!
~ Happy Halloween! ~
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