The sadness of a lost foe.

I have to say, in spite of all the commotion I incurred because of my face-off with the little fellows pulling their own version of "occupy" on me, I never wanted it to end the way it has.  Certainly co-habitation was not really an option but to end things with the literal death of the opposition actually makes me quite sad.  I never advocate the death of anything I can otherwise avoid.  I know it is a simple fact of life, the unavoidable end of all things mortal... but that does not really make it any easier to handle when it happens.  The poor little guy hardly stood a chance.  Now he returns to his maker, a solitary casualty to man's need for sanitary living.  It almost seems silly.

On to other things...

I realized sometime over the last couple or so days that this particular forum of my creative writing endeavors would be a fairly ideal place to write parts of the stories I am working on, for the various projects I have set out to do.  One of them is a script for a movie I would like to make and there are a couple stories for novels I would like to continue working on as well.  This would also be a good place to develop some storyline ideas as well.  I suppose, since it's in a public forum that I should probably be a bit weary about the possibility of theft of my ideas... but, really, I don't see people bothering with my stuff anyway.  Oh ya... and poetry and prose and that sort of thing, too.  Gotta fill the gaps in somehow.

I am so incredibly tired... I only got about three or so hours of sleep last night.  Certainly nobody's fault but my own.  Tomorrow will be a rough one.

So what is the plan for this coming year?  I haven't given it much thought, strangely.  I usually have a few things in particular that I am looking forward to at least somewhere in the prospectus.  I wonder if my near-sighted thinking as of late could be somewhat attributed to the nature of my ideas about improving my self-mastery.  The concept of living in the now has been a fairly prominent thought on my mind.  The importance of letting go of the past as well as the future... at least letting go of the tension that seems to come of focusing too much on either.

I was thinking about the concept of time the other day.  Watching the first episode of DS9 opened my mind about the concepts of time, perception, and eternal beings.  A big point of focus in the show related to the way people sometimes find themselves living in the past.  It often happens when something that happens in the past is perceived with greater importance than the rest of life following it even up to the present time.  In the case of the main character of the episode He was unable to move forward beyond his life in the moment when his wife passed away in a conflict.  He would have rather died with her in that moment than move forward into a life without her.  It was a sad but touching realization of possibilities lost.

Anyway... I do not feel like I need to give a review on the episode as much as relate some of my thoughts which were inspired by it.  It makes me think of the gift of time to man from God.  As eternal creatures we could not understand what time is before coming to our mortal probation here on earth.  We simply had no reference to the concept of finality or ultimate consequence.  Its seems we were only able to become so much due to the nature of that state of being.  Our ability to progress was stifled by our lack of understanding.  There was no opposition to our eternal existence.

I think the part of this all that has struck the most resonance with me is the idea of our mortal perception of time.  To know that time is a gift from God what does that mean He actually gives us?  We are already eternally existent, and as such it would more likely have something to do with our ability to perceive and manage time.  The perception part of that idea might mean he has given us the ability to localize our focus on one specific moment in time, recognizing it as separate yet connected to all other moments of time that we have had and will yet experience.  The gift is simply understanding what now is and if we are smart about it we can learn how to guide what we will become because of that understanding.  As Einstein, and I am sure many others, once stated that time is an illusion, I begin to think he was more correct than people may really believe.  Sure, calling it an illusion certainly falls short of describing the entire complexity of the matter, but in our own finite, human way it makes sense enough.

All of this is quite interesting to think about when the mood is right and the brain is firing on most of its cylinders.  I am certainly functioning sub-par at the moment but feel I have made an adequate expression of my thoughts on the topic tonight.  Perhaps I'll hit it with greater clarity at some point in the future... not unlike the past?  Ha.

I think the next topic I will tackle has something to do with my personally projected disparity between myself and others.  It is something I should really learn to put behind me.  Until then, however, I will make due with my general eccentricities in full commotion.

R.I.P. Mouse #2... I think I'll call him Vernon.