Sunday, September 24, 2006

I am but a man.


Current mood: mellow

I am... that I am.
Never perfect, never less.
I am what I am.
A trial in the days of tribulation.
I am what I feel.
Simple, selfish, sometimes satisfied.
I am the inside motions.
Leave them for the taking.
I am a quiter.
Only by result, never intent.
I am lonely.
The choices of the solitary.
I am a rampant, raging flash.
The pieces scattered about.
I am quite unseen.
Where do I linger?
I am boisterous and bold.
Taken as is needed.
I am a runner.
Heavy footsteps and heartache to match.
I am watching.
Not always aware of my surroundings.
I am into it.
Peace, happiness, tangible emotions.
I am a source.
Built with a desire to give.
I am right handed.
And always seeking balance, symmetry.
I am the sovereign of my will.
Fighting to defend borders of my serenity.
I am strong.
As only I am allowed.
I am of a cherished family.
Worldly wealth and riches lacking.
I am a purveyor.
Make it known from there to here.
I am a rambler.
As it may be perceived around.
I am patient.
Precious commodity to the world.
I am whispering.
When I have something important to say.
I am with my friends.
Souls to bring life and laughter.
I am of an artists touch.
Sharing the pieces in to out.
I am far away.
Unsatisfied and hard to see.
I am intelligence.
Seeking wisdom to guide me.
I am baffled and muted.
Leasing the tools of clarity and presence.
I am a craftsman.
Locking the powerful parts together.
I am aware of my time.
After it has echoed in my mind.
I am misunderstood.
Induced of imperfect communication.
I am without warning.
Unpracticed, fearless, unrelenting.
I am predictable.
Little change to confuse results.
I am loud.
In subdued white laughter.
I am what is around me.
Subjective, conformist, fallible mediums.
I am wrong.
Underprepared and without pressure.
I am of a great responsibility.
The future of infinite possibility.
I am a brother and son.
Ties that bind eternally.
I am alive in freedom.
Choices between right and consequence.
I am callous.
Whimpering untollerated.
I am unattractive.
To the ignorant and apathetic.
I am victorious.
Each step in the right direction.
I am still.
Dedication to revelation and understanding.
I am not you.
Unique, purposeful, full of potential, similar.
I am shaped by experience.
Past, present, and future.
I am happy.
Loving, together, and struggling.
I am optimistic.
Lacking fear not reality.
I am here.

I am but a man.

I am Aaron Michael Castillo forever.

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

I giggle with glee.


Current mood: amused

I am a deceptively large person I think. I am also a deceptively small person. "How can this be?" you might be asking yourself. Well I have a lot of evidence to support this, some of it even validated by technically respected sources, and it makes me smile pretty big inside my head... slightly below the surface of my skin. Sort of in the back of my throat in the top of my mouth. Ya... and also in the dizzy spot right in the very center of my head.

Exhibit A: I am only 5'8 and 3/4" tall. Did you think I was taller? Many people tell me that is what they thought almost every time height questions enter a conversation. I don't wear particularly large-sole shoes either. I am not sure what causes this particular misconception... maybe it is my tall forehead... which leads me to Exhibit B.

Exhibit B: I have a deceptively large head. I don't recall my exact hat size but most of the time anyone puts one of my hats on they are surprised to find it swallowing their entire head top and some of their ears. I usually get to laugh at them for their smaller head size with a hearty "Ha! Look at that tiny noggin!" And it sometimes makes me giggle even... I make myself laugh far too often for typically sane people to understand. Although it usually is not outwardly observable because of this fact. Plus I dig the feeling of laughing inside my head. It is a different kind of good feeling.

Exhibit C: I weigh just under 180lbs on most days of the week. My guess is that this seems a bit surprising to you as well. I am pretty dense compared to the standard person who appears my size. I am pretty sure the extra weight is mostly in my massive stomach which holds several large-sized meals at any given time. Most people eat small meals I guess. It is just a matter of perspective anyway. So here is a technically verifiable fact you could even check out yourself if you know where to look: My current BMI is right around 26.1, which classifies me as one who is considered overweight! HA! I am overweight! HA HA! That is soooo funny to me... oh... ha... What a good inner-smile I get out of that one. Just thinking about it... ah... whew!

Exhibit D: My arm span is roughly 6'1" in length. Yep. That makes me sort of like a monkey/ape type of person. Plus I jump high, enjoy climbing in trees, and laughing loudly in public(usually not simultaneously) but don't let that scare you away. I try not to be overbearing and I won't usually pick bugs out of your hair. I super avoid killing bugs on purpose... especially to eat them.

I am sure there are more examples of how my size is often miscalculated by most people, but I will leave the rest for you to realize on your own. I am sure non of this really matters to you anyway. I just like a good inner-laugh and I thought I would share one of my inner-laugh triggers. Good luck finding your own!

Farewell all. Even in Fairfield or not.