Bedtime? What is that?

My sleeping has gotten all out of whack this last month and I do not seem to get any stretches of sleep longer than four or five hours lately. I take a lot of one and two-hour naps at all kinds of random times during the day so I can maintain a little bit of sanity but it definitely needs to change. I really need to get better at going to bed much earlier so that the nap after my morning shift would be more of an optional bonus rather than a necessary maintenance action.

So, why is it that I am still awake? Ha. I do not really know the answer to that question, other than the blessed fact that I do not have to work this morning like I normally do. Too bad I do not actually get to sleep in and take advantage of the non-shift Saturday morning. Whoops!

Normal shift times are good.

And they are even better when I am aware of them beforehand. Ha. I do enjoy me a good catnap before actually getting to it, though, so I am not really complaining. It is more poking like fun at my own misfortune, I would say... which was hardly misfortune in the first place.

Holy super crazy busy time, man! It was definitely the hardest I have seen it be in my recently upgraded position as a tug driver. I felt quite inadequate for the first hour or two of the shift and I hope to be more effective than that next time. Crunch time is a good way to put it. Get-on-the-ball time is the way I feel about it.

Next week should be something quite a bit more relaxing. Another three-day weekend that I will get to take full advantage of in a different state, even. Gotta get me some good practice of all kinds in. Photography, ping pong, and fun-having.

Resuming the original pace.

Work is a strange and wondrous place full of lights, packages, people, machinery, and even more planes, now that the peak season has transitioned back to the non-peak. I think I have a good deal more learning to do and it seems like it should be a fun, challenging path on through it. I really dig my new job.

The unexpected journey to the Unexpected Journey.

If you liked the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I expect you will like The Hobbit. It was a technically upgraded production, with a fun story, good acting, good music, and lots of good fun. Having been a fan of the book one might think the unoriginal elements that were added to the movie might put an old fan off a bit. However, as a student of cinema, I totally understand and even enjoyed the new additions and found them to be a nice way to add a minor element of surprise that would be difficult to manufacture in any other way.

Giving a personal remark on the new "High Frame Rate" technology, I was quite delighted and impressed by it. I did not find it distracting as much as I found it awesome in general. The computer graphics even seemed enhanced by the whole esthetic.

I think I will give this movie an 11 out of 14. A solid cinema experience I would be happy to repeat multiple times.

34 Christmases Down, ∞ More to go!

Here, again, we arrive at the time of the year when I decide to spill out a bit of documentary about the life I have experienced since last I undertook this particular endeavor. I hope I don't run through too many words as dryly as I am often prone to do... this is, after all, intended to be more for the people of my life that actually care about me more than it is for my own self-indulgent satisfaction of expression(because I do actually enjoy writing about myself, in a somewhat narcissistic way... I guess... I think it's fun to examine my own life, so sue me! Ha).

Starting with a comment about life at the present, I will say this: Life has never been better! And now I will write the strange tale of the year that led up to that particular statement.

The early part of the year was nothing too fancy or unusual. School was on par, work was moving smoothly along, and my social life was in roughly the same shape is usually is. There was an unexpected moment of girl interest that was pleasantly motivating for the brief time that it lasted(which has been sadly rare in my life over the last several years) but life in general was moving right along as usual so you'll hear no complaints from me. Good times always come with bad times, they say.

Then, in early March, life gets pretty interesting. My Pops had himself a birthday heart attack/stroke and nearly found his one-way ticket to the other side. It was a challenging time for the whole family. It was a solid reminder of the fragility of life, the impermanence of things we often take for granted, and the true value of the people we love.

I was also invited into a band called Bes around that time of year. I get the distinct privilege of playing(and I use that word to its fullest sense) the bass amongst a delightful array of harmonic musical expressions. The band leader is a refreshingly motivated fellow who loves to get out there and perform a lot so we have made quite a few trips(probably a dozen or so) into the world to display our musical wares ever since we joined forces. It is a great opportunity to improve an art I have too often overlooked over the years. Beautiful music is a beautiful thing to experience.

Rolling on into the summer time things seemed to be returning to "normal" as much as life declares it as such. This was a very short-lived moment, however, as I very unexpectedly lost my awesome job as a driver's ed instructor(I was fired because I forgot to pay off a fix-a-ticket, which I fixed... but forgot to pay off) and simultaneously came down with some sort of illness which made itchy, painful blisters appear all over my hands for a couple weeks or so. The doctor I saw didn't really know what it was but the medication he prescribed seemed to have a slowly improving effect on it which made it go away, for the most part. This was a tremendously rough spot in life which extended out for a month or two or three, as it was quite difficult to find any suitable replacement work and my finances took a fairly massive blow to the face.

It took about a month or so to find some part-time work at the school that I attend, but it is a great job for many reasons even though it does very little to match up to the money I was making at my prior job. Through the people I have met there, and the sheer nature of being at the school much more than I normally am, I have been led to many opportunities I would not have found in any other way. Opportunities which might shape my future in a more positive way than I might have every found at my prior job.

One example of the great opportunities I mentioned would be the help of the career services folks who led me to my second part-time job at UPS. If you know anything about UPS you know it is a great company to work for and, after a year of working there, I will get full benefits at no extra cost even though I am only a part-time employee. This is tremendously awesome since I have not had any benefits for well over a decade and I definitely feel the need to have them! The hours never conflict with anything else I would like to do in life(school, another job, play, etc) and if I am diligent and hard-working I can see staying there long enough to pay off all my student loans before moving on into my chosen profession.

Another example is the opportunity to help form the "Digital Media Production Club" at the school centering around the program of study I am in for the degree I am studying to obtain. Through this opportunity I have already established great connections to people in the industry(which is almost more important than the education itself) and will definitely make many more important connections as we reach out to improve the student body who is interested in taking advantage of what the club can offer. I am quite excited to see what can become of this club and expect many great things in the year to come.

It has been a fairly challenging year. I have been on more of an emotional roller coaster than I am used to experiencing but would not really have it any other way. The things I have learned are a tremendous blessing and the benefits of surviving such challenges definitely outweigh the costs. The people of my life have been the greatest support a person could hope to have! I am quite selfishly happy to have you all in my life! My heart simply feels inadequate to contain all of the love I feel for you all!

I testify that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father who is highly invested in each one of His children, despite what we may think about His involvement in our lives. None of us can stray beyond His unending love for us. He NEVER gives up on us, even though He alone knows exactly where we have decided we are heading, even if that direction is directly away from Him. He can, and will, send us all help he is allowed to send us if we ever make ANY attempts to find out way back to Him. I am so grateful for this knowledge and hope you all can come to know it as I do, if you do not already, as it is one of the greatest blessings of my life. My love for you is a blessing from Him above and I hope I can do better in my attempts to express that love to you in the future!

Thank you all for being you! Merry Christmas and I hope your new year is as splendid as you need it to be! Big-time digital hugs to you all!

Warmest regards,

Aaron M. Castillo

Ungrateful and self-centered.

I think I have pushed myself far to much into "me" mode over the last decade or so when it comes to holiday giving. What I mean by this is the simple fact that I rarely buy gifts for anybody for Christmas and I generally cite it as a financial burden I can not afford. I have also cited it as a personal aversion to the commercialization of the holiday, which I do feel somewhat justified in, though the other idea, that I would prefer to make the gifts I give, is really the greatest reason for the lack of giving that I tend to exhibit.

This year, because I am still struggling to recover with my financial obligations after having lost my job in the summer, I could have been much more aware of the time commitments necessary to create some good gifts for the important people in my life and actually been much a much more giving individual. I have failed tremendously in this endeavor, sadly, and am only really noticing this too late to produce anything substantial in time for the holiday time frame. Good thing the holidays are not the only time I can offer a gift to those I care about.

So... I need to get on the ball. Make it happen. Give much more of myself than I have grown accustomed to giving. Become a better, more charitable me.

Being tired is a real thing.

Especially since I was dissuaded in my normal attempt to do my online writing last night because of it. Things are back on track, though, so I really should not be making anything big out of it.

I really enjoyed singing a solo today. I have played solos before, on bass, guitar, and mixed with vocals, but have never just plain sung a solo without any accompaniment. It was a challenging but good experience. I would like to do it again sometime. I think I can improve greatly at it which might be a good thing.

A measurable increase in cupcake technology.

I do not know how it is possible but cupcakes have certainly ascended beyond the role of a mere, dainty dessert over the last couple or so years. I suppose much of it would have to do with the abundance of cupcake specialty shops that have opened up which have naturally spurred a bevy of competitively inspired improvements. That said, however, I suppose my vision of cupcake potential used to be blurred by my myopic view of what they simply appear to be. Luckily, my perspective was changed today. I was serendipitously invited to partake in a cupcake experience which exposed to me the potential of quality that lies beneath its simply framed conceptual exterior. It was the best cupcake ever translocated into the amply-sized portal of my mouth, and it was an experience I will not soon forget.

Getting the hang and a new perspective.

I have mentioned it before but it has been a while so it bears repeating I would say... a new workplace begins to visually change as more time is spent working there. Sometimes it is a very transformational sort of change. The easily recognizable changes are expected as responsibilities change, but there is still something that happens in the common areas as well. The size of things just seems to get smaller somehow. I wonder if there is some sort of eternal principle that would describe this idea better.

Every bit of learning.

They are all valuable. I think I overlook the importance of diversity in learning from time to time. I notice the benefits of such diversity whenever I have a class that integrates many different degrees at once and we all seem to teach each other about ourselves. It helps me to see the differences between us but, and I think in many ways more importantly, it also helps me to see our mutual similarities. Always a good lesson to be reminded of in life.

The broken 12-year cycle.

I have voiced my distaste(pun always intended) for the emancipation of recently ingested foodstuffs at least once before, typically citing it is the most undesirable natural bodily function I experience in life. Said distaste is usually elevated to the most vile status of something that is literally "hated" with the intent and fervor which itself falls short of my truer feelings on the topic. A sad inadequacy I am unsure can ever fully be rectified in this life.

It is, therefore, painfully(pun still intended) obvious that I did, in living reality, experience this heinous and detestable act at one(thankfully the only) point during this day, exiling the day as a whole into the chaotic realm of unwanted delirium, barely rescued in its status as a day by the five or more excellent, and wholly contradictory, experiences I was pleased to enjoy nonetheless... even if marred by the preeminent catastrophe's potency of vile treasure.

And now, having expelled this lumbering mass of word chunder, I must lay my mind at ease and retire to the place of potent quality in restoration and removal. My bed beckons gently as a beacon through the fog is silent, intermittently illuminating this day's escape.

Finals week mayhem.

In all the good ways you might not expect. It is an unexpected meeting, or exemplary praise, or the chance to serve the unknown heroes of yesterday. It is also nice to have a nice hot cup of apple cider at the end of it all. A metaphorical exclamation point, I would say.

Tomorrow is an early start time at work so I should have gone to sleep half an hour earlier than the time that I normally should have gone to sleep... which was something like four hours ago... ugh. Fun ugh!

A brand new week.

Though, this is not a very new concept. Nor is my recollection of redundancy. But it is still fun to think about anyway. It kind of seems like a pleasantly easy way to recognize the optimistic perspective in life. This is always a good thing.

It is the last finals week of 2012, as well. I am finally staring down the last 6 or so terms of my first degree(with the possibility of obtaining more in the future) and it feels like I have a lot of work to do yet. My prospects for work are not exactly terrible but they certainly are not exactly evident, either. It is a good motivational thought to carry around, I suppose. Those loans will not pay themselves.

Finals are work.

And even though I seem to run into this pretty much every time they role around, I am always somehow surprised by how little time I seem to leave myself to create a quality product that I can be happy with. It could be that I am simply increasing my expectations of myself, or that I am just too thoroughly talented at procrastinating in an almost subconscious way, but I tend to think it is annoying that I do not really understand how it seems to happen so consistently anyway.

Maybe I simply thrive on pressure more than I realize.

Stumbling through finals projects.

I suppose it should not surprise me that when I really start to get down to the nuts and bolts of my projects that they always find the will to resist me at all ends possible. It is in this, perhaps, that I should have full expectation of consistency in all things worthy of one's best efforts. Life begins to find a path or true, important resistance when I start to see this sort of function as an assumed premise, rather than the unexpected surprise.

Or something like that.

Reaching outside the box.

I really enjoy the resources available at my school. Between the experience of the teachers and the usability of the equipment, the quality of the learning experience is pretty much right where I would like it to be... because it can improve... and I might have the opportunity to help facilitate some improvement.

I believe the "digital media production" club will be a great outlet for useful experience and personal improvement and I feel it can improve the overall school experience for everyone who chooses to involve themselves in just about any capacity. Though I feel that results can also directly scale in tandem with the amount of investment that any student is willing to put forth. The possibility IS there. And an exciting possibility it is!

Deeper thoughts than me.

I think it is always enjoyable to watch, or read, some of the creative and intellectual works of the world. I am not entirely sure why I usually find them inspiring, especially since they can sometimes seem a bit over my head, but I suppose that the little moments of understanding feel like learning at the same time and that is always cool. Plus, it is nice to delve beyond the surface of some things on occasion.

Easing into things one box at a time.

I think I have gotten the best job I could get at the best time I could have gotten it. The way the flow of work changes during the peak part of the holiday season is actually beneficial to my learning opportunity in my new position. In many work situations it might be better to just be thrown into the fire, so to speak. However, a position such as mine, given its inherently dangerous nature, might be better learned in less than fiery conditions. I am thankful for it.

Sometimes, many times, timing is everything.

The wheels of progress.

They are definitely the coolest when they've got some sweet, shiny rims on 'em. I am not sure what that would be, metaphorically speaking, when I am thinking about the goings on at school. I am attempting to establish a new D.M.P. club and I think it could be one of the most potently positive endeavors I could have helped to start. The effectiveness of this endeavor will certainly be the judge of that, I suppose.

I look forward to the introductory meeting next week. It will be interesting to see how well my optimism lines up with reality over the next couple or so months as things start to evolve into being. It is a wonderful opportunity, indeed.

Workin' the work.

I really like seeing how people work in their respective job environments. Job shadowing just about anybody is a highly interesting activity for me. I am not entirely sure why but I can postulate a few reasons.

1. It is interesting because I like to see behind the scenes, so to speak, and watching people work really gives me that sense of illumination about things I could only guess at beforehand.

2. You tend to learn about the character of a person through how he or she functions in his or her position. In a way, it is like improving my relationship with that person, no matter the sort of relationship we have already developed. Even if it is merely on an acquaintance sort of level.

3. It kinda feels like mini-spying. Who doesn't think it's fun to spy? Not me, that's who!

So, I should try to job shadow more often just for the good times like these, if for no other reason. And there are, of course, many other reasons anyway. At least, that is how I see it.

Rockin' the house... or, cafe, rather.

It is nice to accent an otherwise splendid week with a solid performance behind the strings. The audience was responsive and generous with their kindness. I felt like I was generally in the groove with pretty much every song for most of the time(though it could still improve for sure). It was all followed by pleasantries with the onlookers and a tasty caramel hot chocolate for our labors. Ah, the sweet taste of personal success.

We have another show coming up in a couple weekends which I hope does just as well at minimum. I think we can improve a good note or two and hopefully find a new fan or two in the process!

Still getting my feet wet.

It is a good feeling to do better each day. Especially in the realm of my responsibilities and work stuff. I really like to feel like I am valuable to my employer. They do put money in my pocket, after all.

Tomorrow I might get a more loose leash in my new position. It is kinda scary, considering the work environment, but I think I can do a good job... eventually. I just hope I don't jack anybody up, other than myself, if I make any mistakes. That would be no bueno!

Wrapping up the tough stuff.

I love the feeling at the end(or in this case near the end) of every term when all the hardest work is complete and I am then left to wait for a grade. I have a lot of steam to blow off and my brain is able to relax a little. It will take a combination of play and more play to really let it go but I think I can do it. Some ice cream will probably help, too.

Making a club... not a sandwich.

I am quite delighted by the prospect of building a functioning digital media production club at our school and really seeing it benefit the school as a whole. It is a definitely a very big task if it is to be done well but I definitely have the desire and motivation to put forth a great effort to make it happen. Plus, I am glad that I am not on my own in this endeavor as I have a couple good teachers on board to help out.

Things are still in the planning phase but the plans seem solid. The groundwork can be laid out over the next couple or so weeks and by next term I think things can really start to function with some quality efficiency. I look forward to seeing what we can produce!

Who wakes up at midnight?

Apparently, it's me. Though, to be totally honest, I don't think I have ever done that before in my entire life. It was a strange experience, I really have to say.

Thus... Today has been a long day. Plus, I missed my online entries for yesterday... whoops! And now, despite my efforts to actually be a better writer than I was yesterday, I am probably gonna poop out early on this entry too. Some sort of digital pooh, I guess... stuck underneath my keyboard. Ewww.

Well... tomorrow should be extra awesome. So that'll be nice. Hooray for tomorrow!

Crazy cool opportunities.

This was the best work day I can think of experiencing in quite a while for several reasons:

Firstly, I was given a semi-promotion at my UPS job to become a functioning part of the team in a way that I was literally thinking during the shift that I would really like to become. It seems like it will be good for me in a lot of positive ways and, hopefully, I will be a greater benefit to the company through it as well. Though, to be honest, I was not really thinking about the company as much when I was considering how positive it could be to get that position. I am so grateful for the opportunity!

Secondly, I was able to really learn a lot about my potential future career by having the opportunity to shadow working professionals, who are already a part of said career path, who were so kind as to let me help and learn from them all day. It was a tremendously insightful and inspiring and edifying experience! Plus, I got a free sandwich out of the deal. I really need to make sure I continue to work my hardest for them over the several remaining weeks that I get to work with them.

So... I am pretty psyched about life right now. It is definitely something to be thankful for!