Class is gas.

And I find it so motivating, sometimes, that I bristle with excitement just thinking of the possibilities of what I will come to be by the end of the term and beyond. It is a generally awesome feeling to pick up on the learning very quickly. My mind sometimes races faster than the material I am learning and I seem to eat it all up faster than the Wendy's drive-thru... which is definitely the fastest of all drive-thru windows.

I am almost back to the point where I will be dedicating more time to my writing here again... at least producing multiple paragraphs per entry like I used to. I just need to get my sleeping schedule a bit more organized and it will all be better.

The end of the break.

Tomorrow I start the next term at school and I likely find out if I will be starting a new job at the school as a tutor. I have had a couple and a half weeks off and have definitely done well at "doing nothing all the time" gig. It is about time to get back to the grind stone and I am glad to be doing it with school at the very least.

A sample piece of the action.

I got to help with a video shoot today for the first time since I started my program at school for digital media production. It was pretty much how I expected it to be, which was a fairly invigorating experience, and I look forward to many more in the future. I am definitely in the right field of learning.

In need of polish.

It is one thing to know how to play a song. It is another thing entirely to know how to play music in the form of songs. The latter is the true goal of my efforts as a musician and certainly require much more time than I am currently dedicating to it. A polished piece of music as far greater feel than that which is lacking. I want that feel to be present in my playing.

Jamming is a most excellent activity.

I am not sure if I can think of anything that could replace the activities of a cooperative music experience. It gives a certainly feeling and perspective that I think I only ever get when I am doing it and it seems to be almost entirely exclusive in its quality therein. Being a part of the music is one thing, but doing it while locked into a collaborative effort is really something else.

And, in many more ways than is usual, we will get to do even more art tomorrow by playing and recording our gig at the cafe. I look forward to performing as well as editing the show into a permanent digital memory. I hope we play a solid set!

The excellent Olympic Peninsula.

I have yet to have an experience out there that is not a most splendid experience indeed. It is even true that I have not always gone out there for the express purpose of leisure alone. The few times I went out there for work reasons also followed suit with my comment of the excellence to be found there. I wonder if living there would actually make things different for me?

Throwing the anchor in the wrong place.

I do not know why I thought staying home all day was a good idea... or rather, I do not know why I accepted staying home all day as the choice for today's experience. I already know it was not a good idea. I never really thought it in the first place. It was a nice day out, too!

Well... tomorrow is something different. Gonna do a photo field-trip for the first time in a while. Should be a great break from myself.

Notes about life.

Sometimes there are important things to say about the things of experience and reality. I like to observe events from many different perspectives whenever possible and I find that simply writing my thoughts down about any given topic is always another one of those perspectives worth examining and exploring. Synthesizing information is always an excellent practice in general.

I would like to be better at laying better claim on my own interesting thoughts throughout the course of any given day. It seems to me that rarely does a day pass without several interesting thoughts to explore, though I am equally rarely adept at holding them in the queue, so to speak, retrieved for later revelations. Maybe I should carry a paper notepad like I used to do. Or maybe I should just be better at utilizing my iPod for the task.

A pleasant life reset.

This is the glory of Sunday. I find a clearer view of the important things in life, the motivation to improve my situation, and the encouragement to make some useful changes. I do not have a clear view of how things might take shape, but it is nice to expect something better... something instructive. I have a potentially awesome week ahead of me. Something I really should realize much more often than I do.

Level infinity.

Sometimes you play games... and sometimes they play you. I have certainly been played more often than I would like to admit. And, sadly, I am not usually as sad about that fact as I probably should be. The diversion could definitely be something worse. Though, and this is really where is should count, it could definitely be something MUCH BETTER!

So... if a very brief, all caps, rant is any sort of way to improve my situation I might be happy to rant more frequently about this kind of thing... but... I do not seem to get the hint at the moment. I guess I will have to do that some other time. Ha.

The dead among the living.

Sometimes I feel like a total zombie. It pretty much only happens whenever I deprive myself of a normal night's rest, multiple times in a row, and still try to wake up at normal human times. My brain was so wiped out I seriously DID crave brains... or, brain power, anyway. Even now I type in a somewhat halted manner compared to my normal mode of operation. Lots of typos to revisit tonight. I am, therefore, exceptionally happy to be crashing at a normal-ish time tonight.

I do not want to crave brains anymore. I do not even like fatty foods that much in general.

A decent interview, all things considered.

I have to say it is a very tough thing to describe the reason for my me being fired from my last job during an interview for what I hope is my next job. This is an inevitable next step for somebody in my position but it is certainly not something I have ever thought about before. I did my best to be honest and clear about the situation so I guess I at least did the right thing, even if it means I did not actually get the job. I will not know that for a couple or so days, though, so there is not use fretting about it anyway.

I really made it a long, non-productive day without any apparent reason. Hopefully, I do not have many opportunities for the this kind of non-productivity in the future.

Durdling through another day.

I guess when I do not have very many specific commitments in a given day I tend to let the day go to waste. It might be a side effect of me normally being busy out of my mind and filling up nearly every minute of my day with commitments of one kind or another. Maybe I really needed a break.

I have an interview that might get me back in the groove tomorrow night. I normally do well in interviews so I am not sweating too much but I know I need to be on my game so I hope I sleep reasonably well tonight... uh... this morning.

It has been an unnecessarily long day.

The Monday of something else.

I was actually anticipating a good start to the week with a decent amount of progress to get things going. Overall, it was not really the lack of progress that I might have initially alluded to, but more of a bland sort of experience. I submitted a couple job applications, made good contact with one of them, and started revising my online portfolio stuff. Several good steps in the right direction. I did, however, have much more time to do many more usefully good things... and will have to try to learn how to utilize my time better in the future. Something of a motivation issue, I think.

If I were to give today a grade it would be something like a "C." Just kind of average. Next Monday I will try harder for the "A" that I can easily get.

The search for a new claim.

I am somewhat excited by the prospect of a new job. It feels like I could be doing just about anything within the next few or so days and I am certainly looking forward to a change. I am also looking forward to a paycheck... even if it is only just to pay a bill or two or three.

Beyond all that I am pretty low on interesting things to say tonight. I have had a lot running through the skull all day that could have been far more interesting but I am far too tired to fulfill my own desire to reproduce it at this time. Oh, well. Better luck next time!

Funk and funk. The best of both worlds.

I now have the opportunity to learn a delightfully groovy, funk-style bass line for a song we intend to cover with the band. It is quite the tricky lick that will take a bit of work to figure out and even more time to master. This is what I call "good funk."

I also revealed what is known as a "bad funk" today. This basically manifested as my lack of motivation to do any of the cleaning I had intended to do. The day was my oyster and I did not even bother to polish it up even a little. I just did what I used to do as a kid... wasted time. It is kind of frustrating to realize it and sort of emphasizes the lameness all by itself.

So... whenever I was not working on the "good funk" I happened to be allowing the "bad funk" to rule my day. This is probably never going to happen to me again... though, I would never have expected it to happen in the first place. Maybe I will actually do something to change things up next time. Ya. We will go with that for now.

Looking for a surprise.

I am not exactly sure why I would think I earned an "A" in my last class of the term... but if I somehow pulled one out I would definitely be surprised. I did work pretty hard at the end of the term but it was a direct result of my procrastination more than the expression of my expertise and diligence. Now, the waiting begins. I guess it will be a couple days before I am rewarded with the "B" I deserve.

Say good by to my 4.0. I suppose life should not be all about the grade anyway.

Nearly finals.

Today was technically the last day of the term, and the day I had a fairly last day sort of experience for sure, but I will be reluctantly going back tomorrow to make an attempt to salvage my grade a bit... something I do not remember having to do before. And, despite my attempts to improve things in my favor, I am not really sure it will help me get the grade I want anyway. I guess that is okay but it certainly does feel a bit different than I am used to.

An additionally unusual experience came in the request of my services as a director/producer for a short film this person is working on. It is definitely the sort of request I relish as I would like to be doing just this sort of thing for my career in the future. I was not expecting this sort of thing this early in my schooling, having very little visible experience, but I am glad to have the opportunity. I look forward to the challenge for sure.

Open eyes, school, close eyes.

I have had long days of work when this kind of thing happens but an entire day filled with school is a bit of a new feeling. Luckily the stresses of work are not generally present in the environment of school, but the tension to get things done is still there. Else, why would I spend the entire day there in the first place?

I think I made some pretty good progress. After tomorrow I feel like I can really start plugging away at getting a job again, too. My hands are not exactly normal again, and my body still has a fair amount of discomfort and annoyance to deal with, but I feel like I can function efficiently again and look forward to the opportunity to reap some dough again.

One final down, one final to go.

It is always a good feeling to crush a final with the force of a bullet train... made of titanium... triple its normal size... with extra angry passengers. To be fair, I did make one little mistake. Either way, I am done with that class. No need to look back.

My next one will be something else altogether. I plan to go into school super early tomorrow just so I can work on the project as much as possible. I think I have enough time but know how easily I can be distracted and am a little worried I might not get enough of what I want to get done completed.

In any case, I am quite happy to be going to bed far earlier than my usual, self-destructive time. Early night, BOOM!

A simple day of a simple activity.

And even as simple as doing homework is, I was not nearly as involved in it as I should have been. I certainly do not need to patronize myself like I tend to do but it might have a beneficially useful effect on my motivation to not be an idiot at some point in the future.

It is the beginning of the middle of the week. It has a great deal of potential pain to be found so I hope I am tough enough to roll it well.

Learning something new every day.

Often the things I learn which truly are new to me are the characteristics or traits about people around me more than the knowable, concrete proofs of life. Learning about the people around me often teaches me about life anyway, but learning more about the people is generally more interesting and valuable information in general. People are the parts of life that I will always need to navigate through.

I am quite glad for patience and clarity of mind. I am sure it will continue to serve me well long into the future.

Butts and gears.

Something I can not seem to reconcile very easily.

I know I have so much to be doing and I just feel like procrastinating anyway. How silly. And, because I know I will complain about this again later, how annoying that it gains the weight of a self-deprecating nature multiplied by at least two times.

Now... I must not procrastinate my sleep... anymore.

What kind of music?

I really enjoy what our band is doing and where it seems to be going but the question that always comes up, which I feel generally inadequate to answer, is asking what kind of music it is that we play. I am not sure if there is a clear answer, if I am simply too biased to the music, or if there just plain isn't a definition sufficient to describe what we do. I usually say it is a rock/folk hybrid, but I know that answer is definitely lacking.

I think we are what we will eventually be labeled by the masses as a whole. I guess I will have to wait for that day to come in order to actually find out. Until then I am content not knowing. It is kind of fun that way.

End of long days.

Even when I fairly exhausted I am usually still reasonably motivated to write an entry down pretty much every day. Last night was a bit different but I guess I can blame my illness on that. I am definitely out of my element whenever I am sick like this.  Especially since it is such a rare thing for me.

It is kind of sad to say, but the level of optimism I have about life is almost directly tied to the physical condition I am in at the time. I do not think I have noticed it this clearly before. I wonder how much of it is a chemical thing? I would rather be able to control it better in the future so it would be a good thing to explore a bit.

Continued, subtle improvement.

The body is willing... but, the flesh is still weak. In pain might be a better way to put it. Not a lot of pain, mind you, but enough to still call it illness.

Beyond all that I am still slacking. I could have done a good deal of work on my school work, most of it very light as far as energy expense is concerned, but decided to forego the correct choice for the easier choice. I know I will not be happy about it later but I guess I enjoy beating myself up for no reason anyway. Ugh.

Sick AND dumb.

Not to be overly self-deprecating or anything. I just have to laugh at the silly choice to stay up so late even though I am literally sick and tired.

Improvement in the physical area of life are very slow. My muscles are in more pain but the blistering and rashes are slowly improving. My face is a bit swollen... sort of a chipmunk kind of cheek swelling with a little over my eyes as well. I guess it is strange to think that any of this is improvement. The blistering is definitely my least favorite ailment among these issues, though, and I will take body pain over blisters any day.

And the pains of life roll on.

Luckily the pains I have been experiencing would likely be better classified as pains of self-control. This state of pain would be more commonly termed as a fairly tremendous itching sensation, all over my body, which I really should not be scratching. I am succeeding far more than I would have expected of myself, as a notorious itch-scratcher, though I am definitely far from perfect in this effort. Every key stroke is a new challenge... literally.

Thus... the bed calls ever so soon and I am in tremendous anticipation of the escape sleep might offer me. I can only hope that I am not itchy inside my dreams as well!

I am exhausted.

Even though I have done very little today. It feels like my body is fighting a battle that it is currently losing. Kind of a bummer feeling to have.

Tomorrow I offer my closing arguments in the whole fiasco which resulted in me losing my job. I do not know what sort of good can come from it but it can bring my mind a little peace knowing that I tried to do something at all.

Touch: Highly underrated activity.

I never before realized how often I actually need to touch things throughout the course of any given day. It is a lot of stuff! So much of it is simply subconscious that it does not even seem to belong on a radar screen at all.

Now, because of the nearly continuous pain covering my hands, I am acutely aware of the touching activities in life. I do not even really enjoy typing very much right now... so... I guess I will leave it at that tonight.