I have made mention of this topic before but addressed it in a different way last time. I was more specific to address the aspect of perceived age last time but I think the aspect of responsibility is more directly relevant to both the situation I addressed then as well as the one I will mention today. In neither instance is there any particularly profound occurrence from which I have been inspired to write out these rambling thoughts, but I find the instances amusing anyway.
I was walking home from my morning errands today and remembered that a Ted Brown Music just opened up near my house so I thought "Cool... I should go check that place out on my way home... it's hardly out of the way." ... and thus it was. I have been wanting to learn how to play the cello for a while now and thought it might be good to check out rental prices and such. Man, cellos are cool! It will be great fun! So that was my mindset as I wandered into the store.
I was immediately greeted by a middle-aged gal who worked there with the typical "Thanks for stopping in, if you would like help with anything just let us know"-type of greeting. I glanced at a couple cello-like instruments as she was going through this canned, albeit personal, introduction and decided to chat with her before browsing around the store.
I started by asking her what the cost of renting a cello typically runs. She asked me what size cello and I responded that I didn't know that there were different sizes, that I was new to this kind of thing. She then asked about my child and school, or something along those lines, as if I could have a child which might be starting lessons or music class or something. And I realized that I must look, or act, like the parent of a child old enough to be starting music lessons. How weird is that? Probably not that weird really, but I am not used to being categorized as somebody in that way... not that I think it is a bad category to be in. I would rather like to think of myself as being in that category but I guess I feel that I have so many steps to take before getting there that I was somewhat taken aback by her apparent misperception.
Ultimately I realize I am always making changes in life as I strive to become something better than I was yesterday, yesterhour, yesterminute, and that my own self-perceptions don't always change to adapt accordingly. It's not an entirely bad thing but it can tend to leave me living in a past that no longer exists except in my head. So I think I need to start seeing myself in a more responsible, mature light since it is something I have been diligently working to change in my life for quite a while. All those motivational speaker types would be telling me to be projecting ahead(positive self-speak) anyway so I guess it is good advice for a reason.
So... if you happen to see any of my kids running around needing an instrument to start learning, just let me know. I know just where to go to get things started... even if I am not doing so well at getting the things started which lead to their existence. Ha.
