Thinking of the disparaging possibilities.

It is not much fun to think of being alone for the imminent and foreseeable future. The ideas cross my mind from time to time(luckily not all too often) and they can certainly seem to beckon the little rain cloud my direction. I must be way too picky, or way less attractive than I thought, or way too difficult to understand, or way too intense, or way too nice, or way too weird, or way too open/honest, or way too fast/slow, or way too inexperienced, or way too old, or way too difficult to read, or way too (insert anything I haven't mentioned that you already know I am way too much of) to figure this relationship kind of thing out, anymore. I suppose I shouldn't really apologize for just being me... but I would be lying if I said I wasn't trying to change and become a better person already anyway.

I am sure this sounds very "whoah is me" to even bring the topic up. I don't think it is, actually. I enjoy analyzing myself on these topics and writing things out in this way helps me to gain a perspective of myself that I really could not get in any other way. I know I am a fairly self-critical guy but it is just the way I operate. No sense trying to be somebody else!(other than the best version of me, or course)