I have been so independent of a relationship for so long that it is somewhat frightening to me when I think about how I have somehow gotten along without it all these years. I know that I need my friends for their human, positive influences... but what about the more meaningful relationships?
I know, through logical realization as well as my limited personal experience, that the more intimate relationships have the greatest potential for positive life change... yet I seem to lack the compelling drive to find one, beyond my own dispositions to find that which I assume fits me the best. Why am I so picky? It is like I somehow feel like I should be, and can be, even though experience has shown me that doing so simply foregoes the greater good.
It seems like what I am seeking is actually a fantasy... like it doesn't actually exist. But, rather, I think I had a semi-new revelation about this today - that it actually does exist, but that I simply seem to either ignore it or just don't know how to see it despite its possible presence in my life from time to time. It is something I need to be more faithful about.
I need to be much more proactive, in any case!
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