Dear Mom.

I know you are not able to put physical eyes on this text anytime soon but I feel to express some thoughts for you... nonetheless. This is likely cathartic in nature but it is also intended to honor your memory in my own way. I write to communicate the inside of me and the impulse to do so as well as gift of this expression definitely finds its roots in your parentage toward me.

You have been gone a little over half a year. In this span of time much has happened in life for me, and all of the family, as we have adjusted(with varying degrees of success) to your passing. The void left where you once were is an impossible thing to fill so we reach for whatever piece of structure, whatever familiar scrap of normalcy, whatever empathetic offering in any form that helps us to recognize our innate human power to press on. Life requires it... no matter the cost.

In many ways things have improved for me. Simply an incidental step of progress unrelated to your passing, of course, but I would have been much happier to share my successes with you here as they happened. Financially I am doing better than ever. Not where I want to be, and definitely not in a place that is ready to support a potential family, but I feel like I am gaining momentum to achieve that type of security in a relatively soonish time frame.

My focus on work has definitely challenged my general social efforts but I do feel improved in my social life despite my work. I have a great circle of positive influences in my life and consider myself lucky to be where I am.

I feel as far away as ever from any meaningful relationships that could lead to the family life I do hope to one day find. I don't feel significantly lonely, however, as I have often felt over the years as I have made failing attempts to change the situation. I am confident I am a quality prospect for the right woman and only feel that patient and thoughtful consideration will be the correct method of seeking so I am no longer frustrated by my lack of result, as I once was. I am not interested in settling for that which does not fulfill or inspire.

Mom... I miss you greatly. The sting of your loss still lingers somewhat close by and from time to time it is certainly clearer than I would expect. Who knows how to fully prepare for this sort of life event? I will continue to make every attempt to become the best version of myself in my attempt to honor your legacy, however, despite every challenge incurred by your passing.

I love you. I know you are well and I one day look forward to being with you again. Until then, thanks again for being the greatest Mom I could have ever hope to have!

Love,

Your grateful son, Aaron