My role as a friend.

Sometimes I am glad for the opportunity to simply be a friend to just about everybody I meet. When it comes to girls it is definitely something I prefer in most circumstances as it is just about the only way of interacting with them that I feel like I can do with any sort of positive quality or capability. My proficiency with being a friend pretty much always sends me permanently into the "friend zone", however, and even though I am not interested in a serious relationship that does not start as a solid friendship, I am starting to think more and more that making the transition into a more comprehensive "friend zone + boyfriend zone" sort of relationship might not be the way to go... if it is possible at all. Oh, the curse of my over-analytical stupidity! Ha.

Tonight I was reminded of all these thoughts due to my pleasantly(and highly appreciated) friendly interactions with a girl who I once had some feelings for that gave me the boot a little while back(I scared her away would probably be a better way to put it) but was still willing to remain friends at least. It took some time to reorganize my emotional state into something that could competently handle this sort of "friend zoning" disappointment(which is the only thing that ever happens to me anyway so it really isn't anything new). I am still attracted to her, though, so it never truly disappears I guess. I'm glad I don't have any strong feelings for her at the moment, though, because life doesn't need to be any more complicated for me right now. Being attracted to more than one girl, both of which who do not return that sort of attraction, is plenty of a challenge for me as it is.

All of that said, I am glad they both seem to think of me as a good friend. I am really not interested in complicating either of their lives with the likes of me in any other way anyway(an admittedly very weird sentence to say, even in my mind). Here's to hoping my attractions are able to find somebody who is actually attracted to me back... like, say, sometime within the next decade or so would be nice. Ha.