Ostracized in a typically safe place.

I can not imagine there being a person that would like to feel like that place where they belong is no longer the safe haven of those particular feelings. This is especially true in a church setting where one goes to be uplifted by the many like-minded friends and associations found there.

Today I felt like I was assaulted in that very setting. I am sure there were good intentions behind the particular "assault" but I am really quite confused what those good intentions were truly in the service of... they did not feel like they were intended for my benefit. When my age was raised in question, immediately followed by the remark that there are 18-year old girls who also attend the branch, I have to wonder what was being insinuated... that I am a predator? That I am a bad example? That I simply don't belong there because of our assumedly disparate life situations? This is a very puzzling and disheartening sort of accusation(if that is what it was). I am having a difficult time seeing what positive spin could have been intended or applied to such a comment.

Indeed, I recognize the potential dangers of being in a branch/ward as a 35-year old with girls so much younger than myself. I am occasionally attracted to them. I tend to think this is a natural thing, however, and not something worthy of ostracism. Yet, despite my personal ideas that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to somebody that age, I have never intentionally done anything to illicit the distrust of any girl in the branch for any reason. I treat every girl with the same respect and friendship they treat me with. I will not cross any lines for my personal interest if I think it will disrupt a girls own positive experience in the branch. So, where does this personal attack on me come from? Ignorance, an overly protective motherly sense, or something I have overlooked entirely?

I could wax for hours on the topic of ageism and how little the age difference between two people actually means in the setting of a relationship, as friends as well as the more committed forms(boyfriend/girlfriend). The purpose of my writing here was not to address those ideas, however, and was more to the point that I think people who do not understand a person's situation in life need to be more sensitive about why things are the way they are. Simple, unobtrusive probing is usually a much better way to start.

I am sure this is teaching me about ways I should improve my own approach to others as well... which I guess is something I should be grateful for.